Am I Doing This Right?

In which I discuss my need to know if I am doing it right and the magic that happens when I don't.

How many times have you asked yourself, “Am I doing this right?” Really think about it. How many times?

I ask myself this nearly every time I sit down to post a new piece here, which happens far more frequently than an actual post is published. I’ve most definitely asked every therapist I’ve ever had if I was doing therapy right. I wonder if I load the dishes the right way. I know I do it better than Lalo, but then I witness my brother’s handiwork and know that I’ll never be a perfect loader.

I have self-doubt. I think we all do.

At work, this question of ‘right’ is posed to me in some form at least once every hour. When I was first in private practice, I was quick to reassure students. I would tell them which direction they were going in. They were either on their way to the right answer or on their way to the wrong answer.

I believed that, by guiding them I could ease some of the discomfort that comes with uncertainty. Anxiety can be distracting; it could impede their cognitive abi…